Adventures in Poop

I remember a story my mother once told me. It involved me around 18 months old, stripping off my poopy diaper after my nap and smearing poop everywhere. Flashforward to when I was a teen and my Mom wished a child on me that was three fold worse than myself. I don't think that she meant when I was two....but I got it. Keegan, who will be 3 on July 15th, has been anti-potty. I haven't been pushing it, but yes, potties have shown up in the house, stories have been read, watching others in the house go potty has been encouraged. He got the take your diaper off part. He has really enjoyed taking off his pants and strutting (literally strutting) around the house naked as a jaybird. I would ask him and bring him to the potty every 5 minutes assuming that he was giving me a signal that he was ready to train. On the contrary....he just likes to be naked. The other day, I sent Naomi upstairs to see if Keegan was awake from his nap. She yells down, that the dog pooped in Keegan's room and to bring a bag. I stop nursing Halle, grab a bag and head upstairs. Usually the stench of dog poop hits me the second I get upstairs. This time no smell. I walk into the room, staring at the floor, sure enough poop. But this doesn't look like dog poop. Then I see Keegan, fast asleep, looking like a little angel. His cherub tush sticking up in the air, snoring. Then I see his hands, brown and grubby. I see his sheets, tainted with streaks of brown. Then I see his crib, smeared with a new brown tint. It's me, 18 months smearing poop everywhere. I clean it up, wake him up (he needed to get up anyway) to add insult to injury he pees all over the floor while I am scrubbing poop. I am disgusted beyond belief. Thank goodness I am a nurse and I am used to poop. The worst part - he did the exact same thing the next day. Oh dear. Dear Potty Training Gods - Please help me. Thank you, Me.